Today I woke up - wearing my yesterday nights jeans... as I didn’t really want to take them off yesterday night...
Usually if things like this happen, it is that i am a bit depressed, and i could not get myself together to take my jeans off. But not today.
Jeans have the capacity to be brutally honest - without saying a word.
When they are too tight I tend to avoid them for a long time, pretending they are not there.
Half a year ago I was living in India, and my friend Marlies came over from the Netherlands and she brought my jeans for me - I thought/hoped i would fit into them - I think you can guess it… I didn't.
Sitting on a mountain in India, slowly, day by day I allowed me to grow fatter and fatter - and I thought it ‘wasn’t that bad’, the laziness i was covering up under food and joints. The lack of self discipline and control that I assigned to the Indian mentality. And it is true, it is the environment there, and it is also true that you become who you affiliate with.
I was holding up a rosy dream of the Indian woman and their beautiful orientation to family, which is true, and with aspiring to be more like them, i forgot to become more of myself. More energetic, more fit, more productive. It was like I was submerged in a fog of lies to myself.
Walking up and down the mountain was not enough - I was not really able to hit the golden mean, the perfect habit, of exercise and food - unknowingly. And when my friend brought over my jeans - they silently told me the story.
Realising I was setting my life up for stagnation, I lift the mountain I had there, and started a health program.
In 3 months it shifted me from too tired to do anything to actually being able to exercise daily again, and enjoying it. I finally cracked the code...
But.. this had to happen brick by brick.
Bad habit by bad habit, replaced for good habit by good habit.
Daily elevating the quality of my attitude and body.
I have been playing with food for healing for a long time. More green, less fat, juicing, fasting ect ect, and although i knew what was good, i knew what was bad. But why was i making the wrong choices so often, and why did it feel like I wanted to sabotage myself so badly.
I am not saying I am out of the woods of self sabotage, - the biggest fight i am fighting every day is the fight with myself - But in order to move to the light you have to know where your own dark is.
What darkness do you have inside that does not allow you to create your situation in calmness and joy, from your empowered self.
Have you figured out how to become a stable pleasant person yet with this internal sense of self confidence. One of these people when you want to give them a compliment, you know they don't need it. So you write something about how they changed your life - People totally centered in themselves with no need for external validation.
How did they get there; They changed their life themselves.
They found their power and to trust themselves, they learned how to feed their dragons of fear, self sabotage, impatience, insecurity, jealousy, neediness and the list goes on. So they could replace the negative habits for positive healed ones. We all have our own default mode, but no feeling is alien to another.
So you know, when I did manage to set my pride aside, and realise that i wanted a different outcome. i could solve the problem of stagnation, and search for a course that would help me create better habits.
This changed my whole routine step by step, which resulted in without conscious effort fitting in my jeans again - and I feel so much better.
The side effects are is that I am building self confidence in all areas of life and believing that i can actually make a change.
I think it always starts with the body.
My jeans was now even so loose and comfortable and i felt so good that i did not want to take it off … i wanted to wake up with the same feeling of celebration.
It is a bit silly, i know, but what i mean is: Celebrate your winns, and even if it is a little weird, that’s ok.
Celebration affirms the positive self talk.
It confirms your good intentions with a confirmation of: You have done it, you are a success! So please, today, have a look at yourself, and celebrate the things you have overcome, the intentions that you set and how they worked out for you. Maybe even sleep with that jeans (-:. Maybe not all the aspects of life are under control yet, and yes, they will need attention. But the aspects that you have under control, be grateful, and use that confidence to build up your other aspects - Know you are doing great ❤️, and you can do the hard things.
This song came up in my mind, and am listening it now. hope you enjoy ❤️