I used to do it a lot, and yes, I still do it. It is this not fully daring to live and go for the things I want.
Not pushing myself as hard as possible when I want something, not jumping as high as I can with all my power.
Showing the universe, I kinda want it. Yeah, I would really like to have it.
...Please.. if it is ok for you.
Sigh.. This is one of those Marianne Williamson cases; 'We are not afraid of failing, we are afraid of trying to get what we really want.' But what if we are not good enough.
So ok, let's break this down right.
Say, we do not win the medal even if we gave it our absolute best we had at that moment. What was lost? The hope of being the best? What is gained; the knowledge that someone else did something better. That seems not too bad.
And that we did not disappoint ourselves and that we pushed to the limit.
But that is the mindfuck. What is the limit? is there any limit? could you really not do better? What if you were chased by a shark. Would you have done better? It is this dedication, and this energy and this anger that we know we can express when we do not feel stunted in this energy.
Cause we are not allowed to be angry, we have to be good boys and girls.
This exercise is all age approved. And especially great for little ones. Helping to deal with anger in a healthy way, and not accumulating so it can come out when they are grown-ups in weird violent shapes. Really, a 2-year-old anger tantrum is easier to steer than the same guy or girl being 30 now.
Exercise: Let that f**** anger flow.
Yes, it has been stunting you long enough. it is ok to feel it, and let it go. Get a pillow, and a stick, or half a pool noodle. Put some hard angry music on loud (link) If you want to make it fancy, attach a picture of something or someone that totally makes fumes come out of your ears. And go, slap the s*** out of that pillow, follow the rhythm, scream for all I care. Hit it. Hit it. Really do at least 5 songs. But seriously, I think if you would do it a couple of hours you would still have pinned up anger inside. So feel free to go crazier than you think you can handle. Challenge yourself, or get a personal trainer to do that for you.
Done? Then 1 more song.
Done? Then 1 more song.
Done? Be still, close your eyes, and feel the energy coursing through your body.
You did it, you kicked ass. Or did you? Only you know inside of you if you are honest with yourself. Lying to yourself is just such a useless exercise... the only one you are disappointing is you.